Lately God has been bringing to the forefront of my mind that I tend to react out of fear, guilt, nervousness, and feelings of worthlessness. On the outside I may look like I am handling it, my words may even sound calm.... but on the inside I am totally freaking out!
Circumstances always.... let me repeat that ( (ALWAYS) ) bring some sort of stress. The thing is these stresses are meant to throw you off your game. They were crafted by someone who thinks he knows you, and who believes that if he gets at you with adding one or more stressful things that you will crumble, and maybe you will. There have been so very many times that I have been walking through life and I just keep getting tripped up by little stuff. But add all the little annoying things together and they amount to a giant load of junk!
Because of my history with abuse and with PTSD, I have struggled a lot with overreacting to little stuff. I used to think thoughts like "I am not able to handle all of this". Little did I know that this is actually true! I cannot handle all of these things, anything little big or in between is too much for me to carry alone. Stick with me here... I cannot carry all of these things. I cannot even being to try, but my God is so very big that he can lift them with the corner of his pinky fingernail. What I have to do is submit it over to Him so that he can take it and I don't have to worry or react to it.
Circumstances always.... let me repeat that ( (ALWAYS) ) bring some sort of stress. The thing is these stresses are meant to throw you off your game. They were crafted by someone who thinks he knows you, and who believes that if he gets at you with adding one or more stressful things that you will crumble, and maybe you will. There have been so very many times that I have been walking through life and I just keep getting tripped up by little stuff. But add all the little annoying things together and they amount to a giant load of junk!
Because of my history with abuse and with PTSD, I have struggled a lot with overreacting to little stuff. I used to think thoughts like "I am not able to handle all of this". Little did I know that this is actually true! I cannot handle all of these things, anything little big or in between is too much for me to carry alone. Stick with me here... I cannot carry all of these things. I cannot even being to try, but my God is so very big that he can lift them with the corner of his pinky fingernail. What I have to do is submit it over to Him so that he can take it and I don't have to worry or react to it.
Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life. Philippians 4:6-7 (MSG)
This week, my dad had an emergency procedure to correct something that happened as a result of a previous surgery. My father had told us that he was ready to go and be with Jesus, and to leave this earth. I had been praying that God's will be done, I only want God's will in this scenario, I don't want my desires to get in the way of how God wants this to play out. That didn't make it any less difficult for me, and I started to think about what it would be like to get the news that my father had passes away. I thought about what I would do, what I would say, how I would feel in that moment, and where I would go to grieve. I was setting myself up for failure, big time.
I started to pray to God "Lord I don't know how I am going to handle this if my father dies." But then He said to me: "Are you planning to react out of fear for your future?" Are you planning to fail tonight? That was a total reality check, because I could only imagine having to go home feeling totally down and hurt, and having to tell my children (alone) that their pop-pop died! {But} God did not give me a spirit of fear!
I started to pray to God "Lord I don't know how I am going to handle this if my father dies." But then He said to me: "Are you planning to react out of fear for your future?" Are you planning to fail tonight? That was a total reality check, because I could only imagine having to go home feeling totally down and hurt, and having to tell my children (alone) that their pop-pop died! {But} God did not give me a spirit of fear!
For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. 2 Timothy 1:7
So... I not only have to choose to be in submission to God's will, but to submit my emotions, and be committed to pray about it. The reality is that God wants to hear from you. He wants to know what is going on in your life, and he wants you to confide in Him. His desire is to fulfill your wishes, but He needs you to show him love back by being willing to be obedient.
Choosing not to be obedient in giving Jesus your hurt, your pain, your fear, your guilt, or other feelings and absurd wonderings such as "you are worthless" leads to sin. Yes, that's right, it leads you to sin because you're giving yourself over to something other than truth. The truth allows you to trust that His best is better for you than your own plans. When you choose to sit in, operate in, and make decisions based on: depression, anger, self hatred, fear, anxiety, worry, guilt, or any other negative way, you are choosing to deny the power of God in your life.
Choosing not to be obedient in giving Jesus your hurt, your pain, your fear, your guilt, or other feelings and absurd wonderings such as "you are worthless" leads to sin. Yes, that's right, it leads you to sin because you're giving yourself over to something other than truth. The truth allows you to trust that His best is better for you than your own plans. When you choose to sit in, operate in, and make decisions based on: depression, anger, self hatred, fear, anxiety, worry, guilt, or any other negative way, you are choosing to deny the power of God in your life.
(21) Submit to God, and you will have peace; then things will go well for you. (25) the Almighty himself will be your treasure.He will be your precious silver!
Job 22:21 and 25
Lord we thank you that when we are obedient to you that you give us great blessings. We ask Lord that you would help us to understand your will and that we would trust you to give us your best! Lord help us to be excited in anticipation to see what you are going to do in our lives. Help us to run after your will and not be distracted. Help us not to grow tired of it Lord, but that we would be strong and have endurance. I am so in love with you Lord, and I ask that you would use this post to touch someones heart today. I pray all of this in the name of Jesus. Amen.