Who would've ever known that receiving flowers from someone could be dangerous, or unwanted? Unfortunately, flowers don't only come from people with good intentions, they can also come from people who mean to manipulate or harm you in some way. These people are harassers, stalkers, abusers, users, manipulators... and so on.
Last weekend, I got a visit that was 4 years in the making. My ex husband, and ex- abuser, Danny, came to my home to pay me a visit. After four years of no visits from him and only phone calls, emails, packages, and letters he finally found my new residence and came to harass me there. I've had to change my phone number so many times I've lost track. I've moved to another town and made sure that my address was "un-findable".
Over the years Danny has tried his best to intimidate, dominate, injure and harm me and my sons. I've played the role of the victim well. I've hidden in closets, I've gotten a dog to alert me and be a calm companion, and I've slept with a knife under my pillow (literally). When I receive a threatening letter, when a phone call would come, and times in-between I would get trapped in a crippling fear that would not relent. My heart would beat fast, I could't breath, my body would stiffen up, and I would cower and be totally unable to do anything but cry my eyes out. It's been a while since I've felt that way.
Because of the harassment that I have endured over the years, I started to have a victim mentality toward everything in my life. That means I would take whatever behavior was shown toward me by people I love, and others around me, whether good or bad because I "don't deserve better" (poppycock!). I felt guilty when I didn't say thank you for everything that was given to me, or to the cashier at the drive-through. I would basically do whatever someone wanted me to... especially those who were supposed to be loving me. In return I got walked over in so many circumstances.
When Danny came to my home, he posed a threat to me and my family. But I'm no longer afraid of him, he holds no power over me! I've given the power and control over to the biggest bodyguard there is, God! I've prayed that His hand of protection is all over my family, and I believe Him when he says that I am safe with Him. He is my refuge, where nothing can touch me except the hand of God. Danny left before the police arrived this weekend. I know what kept him from continuing to try and come after me, the only explanation is the King of all kings, and Lord of Lords, the one who keeps his promises every day! My response to Danny coming after me was one of peace and calm assertive behavior.
Last weekend, I got a visit that was 4 years in the making. My ex husband, and ex- abuser, Danny, came to my home to pay me a visit. After four years of no visits from him and only phone calls, emails, packages, and letters he finally found my new residence and came to harass me there. I've had to change my phone number so many times I've lost track. I've moved to another town and made sure that my address was "un-findable".
Over the years Danny has tried his best to intimidate, dominate, injure and harm me and my sons. I've played the role of the victim well. I've hidden in closets, I've gotten a dog to alert me and be a calm companion, and I've slept with a knife under my pillow (literally). When I receive a threatening letter, when a phone call would come, and times in-between I would get trapped in a crippling fear that would not relent. My heart would beat fast, I could't breath, my body would stiffen up, and I would cower and be totally unable to do anything but cry my eyes out. It's been a while since I've felt that way.
Because of the harassment that I have endured over the years, I started to have a victim mentality toward everything in my life. That means I would take whatever behavior was shown toward me by people I love, and others around me, whether good or bad because I "don't deserve better" (poppycock!). I felt guilty when I didn't say thank you for everything that was given to me, or to the cashier at the drive-through. I would basically do whatever someone wanted me to... especially those who were supposed to be loving me. In return I got walked over in so many circumstances.
When Danny came to my home, he posed a threat to me and my family. But I'm no longer afraid of him, he holds no power over me! I've given the power and control over to the biggest bodyguard there is, God! I've prayed that His hand of protection is all over my family, and I believe Him when he says that I am safe with Him. He is my refuge, where nothing can touch me except the hand of God. Danny left before the police arrived this weekend. I know what kept him from continuing to try and come after me, the only explanation is the King of all kings, and Lord of Lords, the one who keeps his promises every day! My response to Danny coming after me was one of peace and calm assertive behavior.
His huge outstretched arms protect you—under them you’re perfectly safe; his arms fend off all harm. Psalm 91:4 (MSG)
The best part of this whole scenario was that on Monday I was able to obtain a new protection from abuse order from the court. Every other time I've been to court about Danny I've been shaking with fear, and hardly able to speak. My mind was filled with every possibility of Danny being able to follow me home or to hurt my children. But this time I prayed for Gods favor with the judge, I claimed Jesus promise that if anything we ask, if our hearts are in accordance with His, anything we ask will be granted to us. I believed that Jesus would come through for me, and he totally did. The judge was compassionate toward me, and I found favor in him. I was able to speak clearly, think through my responses, and respond in a calm clear manner. (That in itsself is a testimony)
I am so excited to see how God will complete this process and grant me and my boys freedom from Danny. I am believing that God is going to grant us safety in his arms, and protection within the court system. I have peace that when I go to sleep tonight I will be safe, and my children will be safe because God is watching over me with a close eye.
I am so excited to see how God will complete this process and grant me and my boys freedom from Danny. I am believing that God is going to grant us safety in his arms, and protection within the court system. I have peace that when I go to sleep tonight I will be safe, and my children will be safe because God is watching over me with a close eye.
God doesn’t miss a thing— he’s alert to good and evil alike. Proverbs 15:3 (MSG)
Lord I thank you for taking such great care of me! I am thankful that you protect us from the evil that attempts to come after us. Lord I am thankful for your transforming power that brought me from being a victim to being whole, calm, and at peace. There are no words that I could say that can express how thankful I am that you are my father, and that you love me like this. There will never be another love as great as yours. Lord I ask that you would place your protection on those who are being abused, stalked, harassed, and forsaken. I ask that you would grant them grace, draw them to you that they might know your transforming power. Right now I ask you Lord to bring those victims to a safe place that they would be protected by your strong arms, and be in your perfect safety. I ask that they would come to know you, and be yours forever! I love you with all my heart, in the name of Jesus I pray. Amen.